Monday, April 17, 2017

Naughty, Naughty Nature

I am sooooooo immature. Let me prove it to you.

Saw a picture of the Great Blue Hole in Belize and my mind, for no reason other than I am a child inside, thought "Oh look, Caribbean style!"

Yes, I saw this picture of Mother Nature's wonder and grandeur and immediately thought of a bunghole. And then, not 15 minutes later, I saw The Door to Hell in Turkmenistan and theorized that the Great Blue Hole ate some wicked vindaloo chicken. In case you don't know what the Door to Hell is, there was an oil field and it collapsed. The engineers didn't want noxious fumes to fill caverns and maybe nearby villages so they decided to burn the natural gas. The figured it would burn out in a few weeks:

It's been more than forty years.

That's not even the half of it. A few years ago I planted Jungle Gold African Impatiens in my shade garden out back. I did this for one reason and one reason only. the little flowers looked like twats.

They looked even more twat-like in real life.

You know, maybe it isn't me. Maybe it's nature. She's the one who keeps sexing up everything. Seriously, look at this tree.

That cannot be by accident. Still not convinced?

I mean, COME ON!

Oh and Mama Nature's got everybody's genitalia on display.

It can't be just me.

Because, I swear to God, this is real life passion-fruit. Not kidding or photoshopped or nothing. A true fruit growing from a tree.

There. Now you are immature too.

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

How Can I Paint When The World's Gonna End?

There is a piece-- a project, really-- that I've been working on for two weeks now. And by "working on" I mean not doing diddly squat. Most of the tedious, not fun part is done I just haven't put brush to canvas and I don't know why. At night I lie awake thinking and plotting how I'm going to attack the painting. I do this because I don't sleep. And then my mind just takes a weird turn and I start thinking about the star Betelgeuse-- or, as I'm going to call if from now on, Beetlejuice.

This is the size of Beetlejuice compared to our solar system, so good thing it's 640 light-years away. It is about to go supernova. Aaany minute now. Or perhaps as soon as 10,000 years or maybe even it already has. We don't really know considering all news from Beetlejuice is 640 years old. Scientist now say that when it goes supernova it probably won't produce a gamma ray burst. Probably. Let's be clear. If it did produce a gamma ray burst it would kill us all. It most likely won't, assure the astrophysicists. Most likely.

Which means to me that it is not outside the realm of possibility. So it is possible Beetlejuice already went supernova and did produce a gamma ray burst and we've all been dead for 640 years, we just don't know it.

This is more worrying to me then the Yellowstone Super Volcano. It's gonna blow one of these centuries. It's kinda overdue but we can watch it and perhaps prepare as a global community. Oh sure, us United Statsians are clearly fucked and will have to depend on the kindness of our allies. But we've been spreading around nothing but goodwill lately, so I'm sure those of us who survive will be fine. BTW, here's an artist's rendition of the Yellowstone Super Volcano:

Isn't that super volcano beautiful? And while I'm sure that is a digital painting, I'd love to be able to produce something like this on canvas. If only I weren't worrying so much about the world ending. . .

Why yes, I do have an Etsy: Fallen Face Studio

Monday, April 3, 2017

There is Fan Art for Every Corner of Fandom

Do  you know what there is a lot of fan art of? I mean besides the types of Stars both Trek and Wars? Breaking Bad. There are mountains of Breaking Bad fan art. Mostly of Heisenburg's head. Here however, is Isabella Morawetz's not-White's-head fan painting.

I'm going to be honest. I have never watched Breaking Bad, not even one minute of the introduction so I have no idea what this is a painting of and how it fits into the Breaking Bad world. I just really liked it.

Just because your favorite show hasn't been on TV for three decades doesn't mean you can't paint steampunk fan art of it.

I searched and searched for an artist name for this piece, but not only could I not find a name, I couldn't find the painting again either. If any of the five of you who read this know who the artist is, leave it in the comments.

And I also have a few fan art paintings of very obvious fan art subjects. The aforementioned Star franchises, Dr. Who, Minecraft and others. Here are some Futurama minis I done did.

But does fan art have to be a movie or TV show? What if you really like former president Richard Nixon and you paint about that? Does that count?

It could be that the artist, Wayne White, isn't really a fan of Nixon. He really enjoys putting words into his paintings. Other words include "BIGUNS" and "Artificial Cherry Flavoring". Now that I come to think of it, perhaps he does like those things.

And finally there is this guy who loves Taco Bell. Specifically, he loves Taco Bell's salsa/sauce (why do I think it's a guy? Dunno. Seems guyish).
I traced this back to an anonymous Reddit user. I think this guy should step up and take credit for this fanfreakingtastic work of Taco Bell art.

Why yes, I do have an Etsy: Fallen Face Studio