Monday, April 17, 2017

Naughty, Naughty Nature

I am sooooooo immature. Let me prove it to you.

Saw a picture of the Great Blue Hole in Belize and my mind, for no reason other than I am a child inside, thought "Oh look, Caribbean style!"

Yes, I saw this picture of Mother Nature's wonder and grandeur and immediately thought of a bunghole. And then, not 15 minutes later, I saw The Door to Hell in Turkmenistan and theorized that the Great Blue Hole ate some wicked vindaloo chicken. In case you don't know what the Door to Hell is, there was an oil field and it collapsed. The engineers didn't want noxious fumes to fill caverns and maybe nearby villages so they decided to burn the natural gas. The figured it would burn out in a few weeks:

It's been more than forty years.

That's not even the half of it. A few years ago I planted Jungle Gold African Impatiens in my shade garden out back. I did this for one reason and one reason only. the little flowers looked like twats.

They looked even more twat-like in real life.

You know, maybe it isn't me. Maybe it's nature. She's the one who keeps sexing up everything. Seriously, look at this tree.

That cannot be by accident. Still not convinced?

I mean, COME ON!

Oh and Mama Nature's got everybody's genitalia on display.

It can't be just me.

Because, I swear to God, this is real life passion-fruit. Not kidding or photoshopped or nothing. A true fruit growing from a tree.

There. Now you are immature too.