Monday, March 13, 2017

Our Wide Eyed Little Primate Cousins

I am in the middle of painting a tarsier. I am painting a tasier because I love painting eyes and I hate painting fur. I figure if I paint a tarsier I get to practice the hated fur and reward myself with eyes. In case you have no idea what I am talking about, here's a tarsier:


The smallest totally carnivorous primate in existence. He looks like a much more adorable version of his ghetto cousin the Aye Aye.



O.K. Michele. What kinda of  stereotyping, racist bullshit are you talking about? Ghetto cousin? Really?


Some of you will say that the above photo still does not make it right. Just because the Aye Aye isn't as adorable as the tasier doesn't make using that descriptor acceptable. Some of you may be right. But what if I tell you that the Aye Aye's most distinguishing feature is her fuck-you-finger? Her long, flexible, muscular index finger that she uses to lure prey?


If that's not ghetto, then nothing is.

But enough of our ugly Aye Aye cousins and on to our more adorable cousins named by Dr. Seuss-- the Lorises. Or is that Lorisi? Lorisus? However it is pluralized there are two of them. One is Slender and the other is Slow.


Slender




Slow

What's the difference? Well, one is skinny with bad-assed dance moves and the other is retarded, apparently. Oh and look at that Slow guy's face. It must be painted! The Primate Naming Committee should not have insulted him by calling him Slow. They should have insulted him by calling him Sad.

And finally, one more shot of the tarsier because I must:




Ah, what the hell-- one last one.







Why yes, I do have an Etsy: Fallen Face Studio