After I figured out I was a dumbass, it was time to unwittingly waste some more time. I did this by aging the wood with tea and vinegar and steel wool. This took quite some time because the vinegar and steel wool had to sit for not a small amount of time. At least 48 hours. The tea also sat for that long, but it wasn't really necessary. This is a jar of tea and a jar of vinegar and steel wool
This is what a jar of vinegar and steel wool looks like after 3 days:
There is added balsamic vinegar in the second pic, for a darker aging. Or so I hoped. My hopes were realized:
80's romance girl is going out on a date with a sleeveless cocktail dress with a crinoline skirt. And a bolero jacket. Because who wasn't all about the prom in the 80's?