Monday, July 13, 2015

Hairless Retred

Mammals without hair are wrong. Just. . . wrong.

Except for this guy down here. He's my favorite hairless mammal. I swear he looks not unlike the stable guys who work near me at Belmont Race Track.

Put a dingy 99 Cent Store t-shirt and jeans on him and he'd be hosing down the horses with the rest of them. As they're shoveling manure, one hand will say to another, "Will you look at the balls on dis guy!" And they'd all have to look at them because, surely those things don't fit inside a pair of jeans.

You know squirrels? Those rats with busy tails? Well, without hair, they're just rats with thumbs.

How 'bout a de-fluffed bunny? Mostly de-fluffed. Mostly horrifyingly de-fluffed.

I don't think we've had enough bald rodents. Rodents go bald a whole hell of a lot. They're verminity enough as it is just being rodents but then to lose the only thing that makes them less evil.  . .

That's a ferret and a racoon, in case you were wondering.

Do they still serve these guys in McDonalds? I'm sure they're easier to turn to hamburger without all that kangaroo hair getting all over everything.

And finally, the granddaddy of hairless horror. A creature delivered directly from the mouth of hell. I give you-- The Hairless Sun Bear.

Don't look at it for too long. It will devour your soul.