Thursday, June 11, 2015

Lethal Shoes

I was going to write that this will be the last shoe entry ever but then I realized I'd be lying. I like shoe posts. They are fast and easy and fun to research. Plus, I got these shoe pictures on my hard drive. I might as well use them.

By the reasoning in the above paragraph, there may be a pretty, pretty flower entry, a couple of dozen handmade jewelry entries and a scary clown entry. The first two are pictures that I have taken and that is why I have so many on my computer. That last one. . . let's just say I like to face my fears and then collect them and categorize them in file folders on my computer and leave it at that.

So, anyways, lethal shoes. Shoes that can kill or maim or just hurt real bad. We must start with gun shoes which, incidentally, was what I thought you called detectives when I was young and very stupid. Here is an example of your basic gun shoe:

There are many, many shoes with guns as heels. One of my favorites I like to call Suicide Heels because, well, look:

Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. If you had your gun shoe, where would you keep the bullets? Why, on the shoe of course.

But wait, surely there cannot be hoof gun shoes! That would be totally ridic. . .

If forced to choose, I think I'd probably wear shoes made of shattered and jagged glass before I'd wear hoof gun shoes. Good thing there are no shoes made of-- yeah, I'm talking too soon, aren't I?

Still, those shoes cannot be more painful than these all time favorite, have posted them before but, damn! these have to be the worst, most wince inducing, you've got to be kidding me you BDSM crazy-assed motherfucker shoes ever-

Those shoes right there put to shame all these other wear-them-and-die shoes. I'm sure these shoes are not a danger to the wearer at all. No sirree bob!

Some very thoughtful shoemaker made these Bunion Shoes. That is what they are called. To help you deal with your bunions while still wearing stylish shoes. I'm sure they will be a big hit in the Columbus Circle subway station on your way to work.

Here are two shoes that, if you wore them in public, the authorities will dart you and probably put you down.

Go to sleep crazy lady.

Shhhhh. . . everything will be all right.

Haven't been communicating with 80s romance girl. I'll never get self-published if I keep this not keeping up up.