Friday, June 12, 2015

Not Writing Your Romance? That's Clownshoes, Michele

One of the ways I've been filling the hours since my face fell and I've been stuck at home is re-visiting a romance novel I wrote a long time ago. I'm thinking of renaming it "80's Romance Girl". I'm spiffing it up and filling in large chucks of missing pieces. Or I was. But I haven't in a week. Apparently I'm a lame slacker who is slacking off and doing a poor job of not doing shit.

Today I sat down at the computer and told myself, "Self, stop clowning around and get to writing." And do you know what self did? Self stared at her computer for a bit and decided not to stop clowning around. See, along with a large collection of stupid shoes I keep scattered all around the internet, I also have a smaller collection of scary clowns.

There are many, many pictures of scary clowns that I keep in my computer in my browser under Google Image Search. Anyone can take a picture of a clown with pointy teeth dripping blood, those I leave for GIS. But there are special clowns, clowns that I must save. Clowns that I also keep in my computer browser but gathered under Photobucket. And even more extra-special super duper clowns that I keep on my very own hard drive. Wanna see some?

We'll start off with a traditional scary clown only in cake form. I think this is supposed to be Pennywise from It.

Totally on a tangent-- I used to have a co-worker who I nicknamed Pennywise when I spoke of him on LiveJournal (remember that!) because he was a scary-assed clown. And yes, I must refer to something as blank-assed at least once every three entries.

Self, I continue talking to myself because I'm not crazy, Pennywise is a scary clown but he is also food. Are there any more food clowns we could see a picture of? Yes, I answer myself, of course there is.

Yummy, yummy pork luncheon meat. Where would surreal lunch be without you?

Do NOT try to serve the above meat at a McDonald's because this is what you'll get.

Don't fuck with Ronald. I mean it. You think that's bad? This is what he does to guys he catches reading Super Size Me on the premises.

Don't laugh. That urinal messed up that boy's mind for the rest of his life. Now when he masturbates, this is the picture he sees in his mind:

I like that instead of having a button nose he has a butt nose.

For your information, clowns don't like it when you say they have butt noses. First the get all moody and nothing can get them to stop sulking.

And then they totally lose their shit.

80's romance girl does not like to be ignored in favor of clowns, so she dismembered one.