Kitchen Thingy Project-- Part Three

When last we left KTP, we had wasted much time aging the piece of wood until it looked even older than it looked before we started "prettying it up". We were right about here:

The plan from here was to paint, stencil and crackle. The crackle would show the beautiful "aged" wood underneath. We got the painting done, see below.

We got the stenciling done. We also filed down all this new paint with very fine steel wool because we didn't like how it looked newly painted. We are also very tired of using the royal "We". "We" did nothing. "I" did the painting, stenciling and filing all by myself.

And now comes the wasted time part. I got a new-to-me one step crackle finish medium. I had used a two step crackle product in the past. The two steps are, you apply the paint, wait for the paint to dry, apply glop over the paint and the paint crackles, showing the wood underneath.

I have also used a crackle spackle type dealie. This is usually white, so it looks like whitewash when you smear it on. This will crack when dry, exposing the wood underneath. I did not want the whitewashed look. I wanted the paint that I already had to crackle. So, I got the one step because:

1. I wanted to crackle my own paint.
2. I didn't want the white washed look.
3. I am lazy and
4. I am impatient. 

What I found was that the one step crackle medium is sorta like the glue your teacher used to have on her desk that came in a tin can with a brush on the cap. Way back in the mimeograph days when us elementary school kids were huffing our handouts because the smelled so good. You brush the mucous-y stuff on and it, itself cracks. The medium cracks. Not the paint. Lemme show you:

  
See that? Or course you don't.There are no cracks in the paint to show off the aged wood. Here, lemme show you again, only up close this time.

Dafuq? I wanted crackled paint not smeared on, then dried glue. Phewy.

The project is almost done. One more step. One more disappointing, not what I wanted step.

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80's girl cannot pop and lock. But if she could, she'd do it to Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock's It Takes Two.